The Cupcake Life Examined

Illustration from Natalie Dee

Friends, cupcakes, let's not drag this out. For some time now I've been leading a life that is solidly "fine". Health, psyche and professional satisfaction were all functional but well below "great". Now some health issues have caused me to examine the state of the Cupcake and I've come up wanting. Of course, that is the very nature of "fine". You're only one perscription drug interaction, one trip on the sidewalk, one bad day, one "oh my God, they changed the brand of Maxi Pad in the tampon dispenser in the Ladies Room" away from catastrophe. I don't want to live that way anymore. Obviously, my concern right now is feeling better, but why not make actual health the end goal? And while we're on the subject, I'm 25 years old and living in America. Let's give the old pursuit of happiness a shot, eh? If that involves more medication and therapy, I say let's run at it. I'm fortunate to have that fancy health insurance, let's put it to work.

And now on to the topic of this blog and my writing career. First of all, I don't want to write about the new Cupcake campaign. What's looming around the corner? Thyroid disease, maybe. Who the hell wants to read about that? No one. Not even Dawnzzle. As far as my failure to publish my work in print and broadcast mediums, there's a lot of factors we can blame here. Like the awesomely distracting blogs and podcasts in the sidebar. And my spectacularly inate laziness. And a total lack on energy that could be due to any number of factors right now. And this here very blog, which I love with a shameless vanity but which also saps me of my very life force at times. So I am going to be putting the Cupcake Mafia on hiatus. Not forever but ... long term.

I hope that after I get myself well, putting the blog aside for a while will finally give me the motivation to write that This American Life pitch, the Catalogue of Ships story, the JANE essay, the Cockroach essay (say, does anyone know the City editor at the NYT?), the essay for book that LaHipster is supposed to be editing that I told her I already started but really I only started in my head and so on and so on. Not to mention the time to go to the gym, although I must admit it's not really the time that's so much the problem there as the knowledge that once I get to the gym I have to actually, you know, work out. Right now, I am going to keep this blog active so I can use it to post any announcements. I will return to you when I have something of value to report: I've published an essay; I've lost 40 pounds; I've secured a place as a contestant on an NBC reality show; I've finally cracked the secret of the DaVinci Code and am carrying Jesus's baby. Just kidding. I would never go on a network reality show.

I understand this may be disappointing to some of you, although I feel that the quality of this blog has declined of late and there are far better divertisements in the sidebar. All of your comments from the well wishes to the how-to advice to the snarky one-liners have meant so much to me. You've made a little two bit-hack from Rhode Island feel like an honest-to-goodness D-list blogebrity, and that's saying something.

If you really feel like you are entering withdrawl and you live in the New York area, you can invite me out for coffee and I will tell you about the time I took the Germans out to a Mets game or about how laughable I find it that on the BBC six episodes constitutes a "season". If you don't live in the New York area, you might consider making a case on why I should visit your hometown. It might seem like a major committment with a relatively small payout to actually host me in your home for the weekend, but just think how much time you've wasted reading this blog and it will seem like a drop in the bucket. Thanks guys, in a world full of bran muffins with raisins, you're the carrot cake cupcakes who snuck into the box.