Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Cupcake Life Examined

Illustration from Natalie Dee

Friends, cupcakes, let's not drag this out. For some time now I've been leading a life that is solidly "fine". Health, psyche and professional satisfaction were all functional but well below "great". Now some health issues have caused me to examine the state of the Cupcake and I've come up wanting. Of course, that is the very nature of "fine". You're only one perscription drug interaction, one trip on the sidewalk, one bad day, one "oh my God, they changed the brand of Maxi Pad in the tampon dispenser in the Ladies Room" away from catastrophe. I don't want to live that way anymore. Obviously, my concern right now is feeling better, but why not make actual health the end goal? And while we're on the subject, I'm 25 years old and living in America. Let's give the old pursuit of happiness a shot, eh? If that involves more medication and therapy, I say let's run at it. I'm fortunate to have that fancy health insurance, let's put it to work.

And now on to the topic of this blog and my writing career. First of all, I don't want to write about the new Cupcake campaign. What's looming around the corner? Thyroid disease, maybe. Who the hell wants to read about that? No one. Not even Dawnzzle. As far as my failure to publish my work in print and broadcast mediums, there's a lot of factors we can blame here. Like the awesomely distracting blogs and podcasts in the sidebar. And my spectacularly inate laziness. And a total lack on energy that could be due to any number of factors right now. And this here very blog, which I love with a shameless vanity but which also saps me of my very life force at times. So I am going to be putting the Cupcake Mafia on hiatus. Not forever but ... long term.

I hope that after I get myself well, putting the blog aside for a while will finally give me the motivation to write that This American Life pitch, the Catalogue of Ships story, the JANE essay, the Cockroach essay (say, does anyone know the City editor at the NYT?), the essay for book that LaHipster is supposed to be editing that I told her I already started but really I only started in my head and so on and so on. Not to mention the time to go to the gym, although I must admit it's not really the time that's so much the problem there as the knowledge that once I get to the gym I have to actually, you know, work out. Right now, I am going to keep this blog active so I can use it to post any announcements. I will return to you when I have something of value to report: I've published an essay; I've lost 40 pounds; I've secured a place as a contestant on an NBC reality show; I've finally cracked the secret of the DaVinci Code and am carrying Jesus's baby. Just kidding. I would never go on a network reality show.

I understand this may be disappointing to some of you, although I feel that the quality of this blog has declined of late and there are far better divertisements in the sidebar. All of your comments from the well wishes to the how-to advice to the snarky one-liners have meant so much to me. You've made a little two bit-hack from Rhode Island feel like an honest-to-goodness D-list blogebrity, and that's saying something.

If you really feel like you are entering withdrawl and you live in the New York area, you can invite me out for coffee and I will tell you about the time I took the Germans out to a Mets game or about how laughable I find it that on the BBC six episodes constitutes a "season". If you don't live in the New York area, you might consider making a case on why I should visit your hometown. It might seem like a major committment with a relatively small payout to actually host me in your home for the weekend, but just think how much time you've wasted reading this blog and it will seem like a drop in the bucket. Thanks guys, in a world full of bran muffins with raisins, you're the carrot cake cupcakes who snuck into the box.


Policate said...

Cupcake. I will miss you! You totally crack me up and give me the mental vacation that I need on a daily basis. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing, and if you ever want to come to Portland OR, our guest room awaits. 5 Reasons why you should visit Portland: Powell's City of Books, Saint Cupcake, McMenimen's (movies and beer all in one place), Republican's hate us (in the 80's they called Portland Little Beiruit and we had protesters who mastered how to vomit red, whit and blue), MAX (our lightrail system), Best Bike City in America (you can bike absolutely everywhere).

Michael said...

I'll miss reading your blog, but I hope the time off does you well. Just contact us when you want to work on a Catalogue of Ships episode!


Cupcake Queen said...

CUPCAKE, CUPCAKE, one will miss you more that I will. I'll always keep my mental pic of you under your desk at work taking a nap...and the memory of the first time you blogged about it and you could see everyone's feet stopping by your desk. It almost makes me want to get under my desk right now...but I don't have any sides on my desk and it would look pretty funny...n e waz...i'm willing to wait for your next, great appearance...unless, of course, you think you might take a trip down to DC anytime and then I'll take you up on your offer to stay at our house and we'll feed you lots of low cal cupcakes...well, i really don't think I can do that..make low cal cupcakes, i come on down! Take care, and always remember that life is, at the very least, an adventure! Or, as Layla would say: grrrrrrrr!

Anonymous said...

Coming out of lurkdom to say:

I have no idea how I ever found your site, but I do know that I have enjoyed reading nearly every single word of it (you are on my daily rounds). Thank you!

I want to wish you the very best - of everything!

Cupcake said...

Thanks lurkers and cupcake lovers! I'm still hung up on "Saint Cupcake" in Portland. How's that now? Someone found a way to combine my two great loves: the Patron Saints and cupcakes? This may warrant further exploration.

Vanessa said...

Gosh, Cupcake, I'm going to miss your blog! Yours was one of the first I ever read and I've checked in with you almost every day for over a year! I still have the scarf you sent me and when it gets cold out, I'll wear it again and think of how much I loved your writing. Now, get healthy and write some fabulous stories. You definitely have it in you to be a really good writer.

Anonymous said... a fellow smithy, i'd like to wish you gaudeamus igitur. which is of course latin for get well and publish, for those not in the know. i have never read a blog before and perhaps i never will again. although if you are recommending the interesting sidebar blogs, they can't be all that bad, right? good luck.
-Niki in Pleasantville

Meg said...

So my friend gave me the link to your blog since I'm an up-and-coming book editor VERY interested in taking blog writers and turning them into book authors.

Can we talk over coffee? Email me at

Good luck,

Aimee said...

i hope you feel better soon, cupcake. I look forward to reading your blog everyday — its in my bookmarks bar. keep us posted as to when your book comes out!


Anonymous said...

I've always loved your blog...and will miss it very much! Good luck with everything...and if Mpls is appealing at all come on has been a few years!

mrsmogul said...

If I was still in NY I would invite you to coffee but no Starbucks...except for Frappachino!

Joshua said...

Cupcake, nooooooooooooooooo!

Ok. Fine. I did know this was coming. Get better soon. I recommend baby carrots, they are good for you and orange.

Just think how triumphant your return will be and how much we will appreciate everything you say even if it's only "I have taken Josh's suggestion and I will be eating some baby carrots."

Good luck with everything. I fear I may start getting some work done without you.

Lord of the Barnyard said...

a good blog going hiatusy is sad.
notice how i say that as a fact, with no recognition that in fact your leaving will leave me sadder.
but it will.

come out to the farm. lahipster has offered her services as a chaperone even. our meats are lean.

jesse said...

Hopefully this will be the impetus for us to meet in real life. Good luck with your side projects!

a girl like me said...


Get well tres soon cupcake!

JLG said...

I am in denial...I keep clicking back to this page in hopes that another entry will pop up. I'm upset, I just started reading this blog a few months ago and it's the only one I've ever checked on a regular basis. I know I will/have to get over it, especially since this is not about me.
Fellow RI hack, I wish you the best of health and a big fat book deal AND remember the chinatown to chinatown bus is cheap and fast ;)

Cupcake said...

Lord of the Barnyard, I will not be good for anything on the farm. Except maybe the baking pies part. People bake a lot of pies on farms, right?

Perhaps in my hiatus I will master MySpace so I can keep up with you all. Derr, don't hold your breath so much.

Maria said...

Oh noooo!!!
I recently found your blog via Muk Report and have been reading it regularly since your "He Moves in Mysterious Ways" post (Greatness, BTW).
I hope that you get well and find the great life you're after. "Fine" is not acceptable at 25.

I'll miss reading you, but wish you the best...

policate said...

Cupcake - 5 more reasons to come to Portland (OR):
No sales tax!
We your pump gas(self serve is illegal. No I'm not Kidding!)
Doggie Daycare (Daycare centers for dogs. No joking)
Free beaches (The entire Oregon Coastline is publically owned)
email me at Honestly!

Muk said...

Does this mean I have to unlink you??

Kidding. I would do no such thing.

Jen said...

Well, I'll miss reading your blog (I really don't read any except for yours!), but I wish you luck in getting your life together and your writing career rolling... I just got a new oven, so I'll bake some cupcakes in your honor!

MCMCMCLY said...

We'll miss the blog. Here's a few thinking points to get you started on your first public radio essay:

1)First Dates: "So, would you prefer your mother or father to die first?"


3)Rockettes v. NYC Liberty

4)Professional LaCross

5)You learned that just from watching TV?

Cupcake said...

I am still emotionally frail. Unlinking me from your sidebar at this point could cause lasting dammage. That goes for all of you.

Dave, it's amazing how much you retained from this weekend considering the amount of Seagram's, nicotine, and caffeine that is constantly coursing through your veins. Next time in Vegas!

Cupcake said...

I am still emotionally frail. Unlinking me from your sidebar at this point could cause lasting dammage. That goes for all of you.

Dave, it's amazing how much you retained from this weekend considering the amount of Seagram's, nicotine, and caffeine that is constantly coursing through your veins. Next time in Vegas!

acaligurl said...

well cupcake, i will miss your posts, however being new to this i can go back and read your achives.
stay well & happiness to you.