Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Easy-Off: What the Hell is in This Shit???



I went home last night and opened my oven to put the racks back in. I opened the door and the oven was again covered in white ... evilness. Let's be clear. I've completely rinsed my oven out twice now, but as soon as I turn my back, the Easy-Off film reappears.

I could have put the gloves back on and rinsed it out again but hell no, my hands are still fucked up from the first time. My fingers are extra dry and scaly and it almost looks like I've been playing with fiberglass. My sense of touch is dulled in my finger tips unless I'm constantly taking care of them. I read the back of the Easy-Off can which says, "In case of contact with skin, remove affected clothing. Wash with soap and water and flush for at least 10 minutes. If irritation continues, contact physician." What the fuck?? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they've found a commercial use for Agent Orange, but have I permanenly mutilated myself here? What boy will ever want to hold my rough, contaminated hand now? Will I ever be able to use my oven again?

Oh well. At least I don't have to go out and purchase mace now.

"Give me your purse."

"Beat it ass wipe. I've got Easy-Off. This stuff make DDT look like Love's Babysoft."

8 comments:

Leah said...

I think rubber gloves may be a very wise purchase during your next Target run.

Cupcake Queen said...

You are hilarious...I am falling off my chair...and this doesn't look good in the office!

Cupcake said...

Leah, yes but does Target sell HazMat suits? And if so, how are those things sized? Probably like pantyhose. A,B, Queen. Stupidest sizing ever. Do you think Dick Cheney wears a Queen-sized HazMat suit?

Anyway, Queen of Cupcakes, screw the people in the office. Do they know who you are?? You are cupcake royalty! I genuflect everytime I see your avatar.

mondo said...

this is why i dont use my oven. id have to clean it.

rachel said...

oh man, nancy...that stuff is dangerous. i used to get sick just from looking at the bottle. use baking soda as often as possible instead of the chemical stuff. sometimes i feel like those household cleaning products just absorb straight into my body and eat away at my ovaries. ever feel that way? no? okay....

Cupcake said...

Not my ovaries!! That's where my eggs live!

Leah said...

Cheney doesn't need a hazmat suit, he's bionic and unhuman. Just try wrapping yourself in suran wrap - it could be oh so very sexy, and safe!

JamesonVandy said...

Easy-off is caustic evil shit. Same thing with the stuff used to clean tire whitewalls. For God's sake don't get it in your eyes. My dad was gonzo for having me clean his fucking car when I was a teenager, and he reveled in telling me what type of vile chemical voodoo caustics are. You have my complete sympathy.