She lives!

Well, now that I've let the suspense build up, I guess I can go ahead and let you know that I did not perish at my corporate mandated afternoon of hell, I mean, paintball. Didn't mean to keep you on pins and needles, but it's been very busy for me- taking on new responsibilities and challenges at work, I've had a lot of friends from out of town visiting me, I had to train the helper monkey to take over some basic tasks when I lost function due to paintball related injuries, I got better and had to have the monkey put to sleep- you know how it goes.

Some people have asked me, "Was paintball what you were expecting?" No, it was worse. Let me remind you, I wasn't in someone's backyard decked out in our Wal-Mart finest shooting at a sugar high 13-year old birthday party platoon- I was at a paintball operation/ possible meth lab in the woods of East Pensyltucky that took itself very seriously with an entire firm of wound-up, highly competitive Midtown traders and analysts and a CEO kind enough to pay the supplement so that everyone would be supplied with two paint grenades and each team could have eight smoke bombs in their arsenal.

Others have asked me, "Should I play paintball if I have the opportunity?" Well, here is the question I would ask you: Would you like to experience war as something that can be trivialized as a pay-by-the hour entertainment commodity? If so, then you should look into it. And bring a sports bra.

My manager said to me, "Would you like to go again?," to which I could only respond with, "Have you been listening to a single thing I've said?!!??"

And I think that will be it for my discussion of paintball, for the full story you'll have to read the book I'm "writing" or take me out and get me drunk on pomegranate margaritas.


Oh look, just did a YouTube search and found this video which was shot at the place where I played paintball. As you can see they are trying to stage some kind of commerative Iwo Jima battle, because that makes perfect sense.



And yes, in case you're wondering, I wore the camo fatigues, the face mask and the spare ammo around my waist.

What I look like when I'm doing what I'm doing

One of my co-workers went on a site visit and took some photos with a disposable camera (remember those?). He wanted to use up the roll of film, so he took some shots in the office. I think they pretty much capture the atmosphere of Oz beautifully, but since I don't have permission from the people in the photos, who don't know this blog exists, I'll just post a few.


This photo from taken far away is of me. I'm sure if you could see me, there would be a scowl on my face. This particular coworker insists on calling me by my initials, "NM", so it was one of those things where someone calls your name and you turn around and see a bright flash. As you can see, they like to keep me hidden behind a plant. This happens to me a lot. Also I am in close proximity to three printers, which is helpful since I am the one who is always the one fixing them when they break. Also, everyone in the office has at least two computer screens. Some people have four. I have one. I think that pretty much says it all. I face away from the action, towards the other divisions of Greater Oz. Behind me, spectacularly interesting things are happening.



Here is my desk. MD wanted to take a photo of Robbie, and here I am shielding him from the papparazzi, like Angelia tucking in Shiloh, like Katie turning Suri away from the bright flash. That is beause Robbie didn't have his good face on. Actually, Robbie didn't have any face on. Sometimes Robbie's face gets vandalized and I get caught up doing something else and I don't have time to make him a new face for a while. The flowers on my desk were a gift on Administrative Professional's Appreciation Day, or as I like to call it, Secretary's Day. I love Secretary's Day. I was very lucky, I received many thoughtful gifts. In addition to the flowers, I received a gift card to Sephora, a giftcard to Bliss spa and some little Godiva chocolates.

Can you find on my desk: Iced Coffee, Emergen-C, Hand Cream, Kinder Surprise Egg logo, spreadsheet, label maker, pink ribbon, stapler, band-aid, stamp moistener? All in a day's work!

In other news, another colleague sent me this link. The otters are holding hands. The otters are holding hands!!! Who can I make the check out to?