Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A Frightening Halloween Moment

Last night I was waiting for my date, MostFavoritePerson, at FAO Schwarz so I was trying to make myself visible at the front of the store.
There was a large display of little bears dressed up in Halloween Costumes. As I was examining the little bears, a middle-aged, fey gentleman, an FAO employee, approached me.

"Aren't they cute?" he said.
"Yes, they're very cute," I said, because they were kind of cute. Then he said, "I have one of each. I have them all lined up on top of my television." Then he wisely wandered away.

I was left to pet the bears. I knew I wasn't going to purchase one, afterall, why spend good money on bears when there's Choxie to be had, but my mind drifted and I thought, 'maybe someday I'll have a house and I'll buy one of each becostumed bear and every Halloween I'll take them out of storage and line them up on my mantle in a festive little holiday tableau'. Then, I let out a gigantic internal mind scream.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhh! Yes, and while I'm at it, why don't I perm my hair and start wearing denim vests? I could start collecting Beanie Babies and just totally give up on sex, cocktails, wit and urban culture!

Halloween, man. It's when all the ghosts and goblins come out. Scary.

4 comments:

A said...

ah!!! tit bits and goblins and denim vests oh my!

Tiffany said...

I wandered over here needing a laugh and you did not fail to deliver!

Please don't perm your hair though. I'm from Texas and I still don't think anyone should perm their hair!

rachel said...

dude, you buy those bears and you're two steps away from being that woman who knits blouses for her cats. not that there's anything wrong with that...

Candicissima said...

Yes, just say no to the bears. You'd definitely be stepping into some scary territory then.