Monday, September 12, 2005

Cute Boy Gaffe of the Day

It started when someone's Assistant called for my Boss. Her Boss wanted to send over two bottles of wine, but she didn't trust them in the hands of a messenger, so she was going to come by and drop them off herself. Fine, I told her, when you arrive just tell Security you'd like to see me and I'll come down to pick up the bottles.

Oh no. She didn't want to come into the building, because she didn't want to carry two bottles of wine from the sedan to the front desk, she used the phrase "when you get to be my age" and mentioned that she already had a pain her back she didn't want to aggravate. She said when the car pulled up on the building she would call me on the phone, then could I please come down, meet her at the car and so forth. "Fine", I said, thinking, this woman had better be old. Biblically old.

Forty minutes later the phone rang for me and it was the Assistant all panicked, "Oh Nancy. I couldn't reach you and the traffic is just awful! I don't even think the Driver can double park! Can you please come down right now!" So down I went to pick up two bottles of wine, wrapped in bubble wrap in a shopping bag weighing less than five pounds. The Assistant looked to be in her late 50s and healthy. God, I'm such a miserable bitch.

Okay, we're getting to the cute boy.

I got into the elevator. Too late into my ascent, I realized that I had forgotten to push my floor button so I quickly pushed 14. Just then the elevator stopped on the 6th Floor. A cute guy got in. He looked at the lit up 14, and puzzled, checked to make sure the elevator was going down. I started babbling, "Oh sorry, I forgot to push my floor button, but I just pushed it, but don't worry, we're going down first, it's okay."

"What floor were you looking for?" the cute boy asked. Maybe I looked a little lost with my shopping bag full of wine.

"Fourteen, " I said, wanting to establish that I did in fact work here. "But don't worry. It's just that sometimes I get in and just assume the elevator knows where I want to go."

"Well," said the cute boy, "sometimes it does," and with that he got out of the elevator because we were back in the lobby. I rode up to the 14th floor alone.

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