Friday, July 29, 2005

Falling off the wagon and onto the Wing Wagon

On the seventh day, God rested; on the fifth day, Cupcake decided she could not handle another Oatmeal Square and homemade iced coffee and allowed herself to head to the green-straw oasis. I oredered one of those new green Frappuccinos that looks suspiciously like a vegetable but tastes like heaven. I also ordered a blueberry muffin. "One blueberry muffin, and make it snappy," said my Barrista to the girl working the Baked Goods case.

I laughed. "God, I wish just once I could say that to someone at work. Email me a copy of your schedule for next week and make it snappy! Boss. Sir."

The Barrista said, "Oh don't worry about that. They'll get me for that later."

"Oh, I know they will."

My descent from the pack-a-healthy-lunch routine and then crack out on Cheese Nips at night began last night. Stopping by Video Edge, which I am now certain is the greatest Video store ever, I had just rented Dead Like Me Season One Disc Three when I decided to stop and pick up dinner. Eschewing traditional take-out I decided to take advantage of my new neighborhood and head to a place called "The Wing Wagon. Terrific.

The wings only came in batches of 10 and I wanted to try at least two different sauces. So I ordered 20 wings, 10 BBQ and 10 Medium and waited for my order. I was repulsed yet giddy with the weight of my wings as I carried them home. Opening the boxes, the potential for mess was so great, I moved the whole operation to the kitchen sink and ate standing up beside it.

Now, in the time I have lived in my new place, meat has only been consumed twice therein, once the night I got Chinese Take-Out when the ex-roommates came by and this evening courtesy of the Wing Wagon. I tore into these wings. I swear, this is not really who I am. I have a sweet tooth yeah, and I'm thinking about main-lining Cheese Nips, but I'm not really a gung-ho meat person. Yet I was attacking these wings with a fervor that had not been seen since the days dinosaurs walked the Earth. Sauce was all over my mouth which would generally gross me out but I swear I did not care. Then I looked up quickly and caught a glance of my reflection of the kitchen window and mistook myself for a feral raccoon. (what's that? you've never heard of a domesticated raccoon? you obviously missed this story.)

Miraculously I was able to stop myself before consuming all 20 wings, but I did put in a respectable showing of 16. And you know what? I didn't even touch the box of Cheese Nips for the rest of the night. Sigh. Progress can be so difficult to gauge.


jesse said...

I could listen to a discussion about wings all day, every day. Don't think I couldn't.

Cupcake said...

By the way, the Medium wings were quite mild. Maybe they were taking it easy on me becuase I was the only white face in the joint? Or maybe it's a trick they play on all the newbies so that the next time I go in I'll ask for the XXHot and my tongue will swell and blister until it is not unlike having a block of wood in my mouth.