Tuesday, May 03, 2005

The Same People who are Probably Excited about having the Olympics in New York...

I was crushed by a plague of tourists this morning. Really, a veritable pox of tourists, largely of the Japanese persuasion, descended upon the city to wreck havoc with my morning routine, holding up the line at Cafe Ess-a-Bagel, then clogging the sidewalks (What are you looking at??? This is Third Aveune. There is nothing to see here! Walk, walk damn you!). Now I'm not saying that had I not given up sugar, the tourists would not have descended like cicadas in June, but if I had been sucking on an Iced Caramel Macchiato, I wouldn't have been grinding my teeth into nubs while trying to restrain myself from punching out a 65-year old man. Because, let's face it, sugar makes me a nicer person. In fact, if you placate me with a nice high-fat, high-sugar, high-caffeine beverage, you can pretty much have your way with me and I'll just be sucking happily away on my green straw, swaying to music that only I can hear. In fact, when giving birth I plan on telling the anesthesiologist, no problem, let's skip the epidural but could you be a dear and fetch me a Grande Iced Mocha with a shot of mint?

So, in that spirit, I present these Tourist-related "overheards" from Overheard in New York:

Another One Undergoes His NYC Initiation

An Inside Joke for Us New Yorkers

Tourists Should Not Eat and Walk at the Same Time

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