Unsolicited Criticism of Your Christmas List

Every year, Pop and I wait to see what Little Brother is going to put on his Christmas list. We anticipate its arrival with a mixture of dread and excitement. One never knows exactly what will be on the list, but you can be sure it will be extensive, expensive and seemingly random, including at least a few items that to my mind at least, no fully formed adult person living outside of beer commercial would request. This year Little Brother sent us the list quite late in the season, so we're doing a bit of scrambling to make the prince's dreams come true. I thought I would post my thoughts on LittleBro's list, but then I thought that perhaps Little Brother doesn't want his wish list to be made a matter of public record, so below I present my itemized critique of Little Brother's Christmas List, omitting of course, the actual list.

1. Who? What?

2. Don't you own enough of these things? Are you actually participating in the NBA draft next season?

3. What brand, level of quality are you looking for? Never mind, I can't afford these any way.

4. a) The British or American version? Which season? Wait, were you aware that before there was an American version, there was a British version?

b) You realize that you were the only person watching this show in prime time, right?

c) Right.

5. Since when have you been a homosexual?

6. Having a nice brand of vodka to offer guests in your home is a nice touch. Learning how to actually spell "vodka" is a prerequisite for the classy element I feel you're striving for here.

7. Done and done.

8. Well, I don't think they make men's dress shirts with horizontal stripes.

9. Size info? You are one size to me: "uh, guy. Guy Size."

Your offer to add to the list in the next few days if you think of anything else was very considerate. How would you feel about a Starbucks gift card and some gently worn paperback novels, excellent candidates for re-gifting?

Here's what I put on my Christmas List this year:

A 4GB iPod Nano, pink of course
A set of full size flannel sheets in purple tones or pale blue
The Knit Picks Options Knitting Needles Set

Does anyone else want to share what's on their list this year?