Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Update: I'm not crazy from the methane leak.

So it must be the VD!

Keyspan just sent over not one but two technicians. They came with the works: jack boots, flashlights, mirrors, utility belts, gloves, something that looked like a Geiger Counter but presumably measured carbon monoxide, etc ... Have I ever told you how much I love Keyspan? I bet I have. They are the ones who saved me from blowing myself to Kingdom come when I first moved in and my landlord installed a new stove but decided to use and old hose, a hose with a hole in it.

Anyway, these guys came in, and took apart my stove from top to bottom - they removed parts that I didn't know existed. They cleaned things, lit things on fire, the usual. I took what I assumed to be the appropriate role in this situation which was to stand in the corner and look nervous and impressed.

They got my soggy burner working again and told me that I need to clean my stove more because I had deposits of carbon ash. But they wanted me to clean under the range and under the floor of the oven. They literally removed the bottom of my oven, flipped it upside down and showed me the white ash with a "what do you have to say for yourself now?" look as if I was being confronted with my own skidmarked underwear. Has anyone else heard of this? Am I the only "adult" not cleaning the inside-outs of her oven for carbon ash? Geez, like I don't have enough to do. The CEO just emailed me on the new Blackberry at 9:30pm to ask me where the closest Bank of America branch is. Closest to where? Closest to our office? Closest to your house? Also, have you ever heard of Google Maps? If you're on the Blackberry, you're halfway there!

Anywho, good work Keyspan! You never let me down, unlike the MTA, ConEd, SPF 30, my career, well, the list is long.

1 comment:

Joshua said...

I have never once cleaned my oven. That sounds like a lot of work I'd rather not do.