Monday, July 16, 2007

Get out of my dreams (likewise, stay out of my car)

This weekend, I had a dream that the song "Wake me up, before you Go-Go" had been added to the Broadway staging of Camelot. In my dream, I saw how this was possible. Also, a new character had been added to the dramatis personae: the town whore. This was weird because I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PRODUCTION OF CAMELOT, NOR HEARD THE ENTIRE SCORE. I believe this may make me a savant. When I awoke, I noticed that I had thrown three of my pillows onto the floor. I guess that shows us what I thought of Whamalot.

In case I am not a savant, there is a very good chance that I am merely stupid. Someone has covered my neighborhood in fliers that say "Backyard Weeding" and include pull-tabs with phone numbers so that you can call the person who is looking for work doing jobs around the house. Now, let's ignore the fact that I can't imagine that there are too many "backyards" in Prospect Heights. I don't know why the font on "Backyard Weeding" is so large, but every time I see one of these signs out of the corner of my eye (at least once a day), I always think it says "Backyard Wedding". Then I have ten seconds where I think, "Holy shit. Someone is advertising their wedding on lampposts in da hood? That's crazy. They must be real hard up for guests."

Sometimes it seems like the whole world is conspiring to confuse me. Today I ate lunch at a Wendy's, and the writing on my paper cup said, "Today's salads did not exist yesterday." Someone like me could spend a lot of time contemplating that sentence. What the hell does that mean? Is Fast Food being ironic now? Are they going for Confucian-like wisdom? Or are they trying to reassure us by being very, very literal.


Dawn Z(ed) said...

I read it was backyard wedding as well. I was momentarily confused.

It's not hard.

jesse said...

I think you have too many pillows.