Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Smithies are Awesome*

Well, not all Smithies are awesome. Some are totally annoying. If you have encountered an annoying Smithie, I am sorry for you, but not nearly as sorry as I am for myself because in three years at Smith I encountered so many crazyface whiny bitches that I actually had to flee the country for a year to try to get this phrase out of my head, "Well I feel, as a woman, a lesbian, and a Jew ..." But many Smithies are indeed awesome. Like my friends. And Julia Child. This weekend, my college roommate met up with us at MuppetLover's house. "So is it like some rule that every Smith graduate has to own Mastering the Art of French Cooking?" asked Roomie's boyfriend.

"Actually," said MuppetLover. "That belongs to my boyfriend." See, some Smithies are good cooks are some who aren't good cooks are smart enough to hitch themselves to men who are good cooks. That is using the old noggin, to quote Margaret Mitchell, another famous Smithie.

"The boyfriend got me a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking that was signed by Juila Child and her husband," said Roomie.

"They're dead," I said.

"I know," said the boyfriend.

"Did you get Juila to sign the book before or after she died?"

"After. It was a post-humous book signing."

"Wow. That's quite a trick."

Many tender and thoughtful elegies have been written since Julia Child's death and I won't attempt one here but let's hand it to the woman, she went from being in the French Intelligence Service to building a multimedia empire based upon something she loved to do. And she taught us that the only reason to cook with wine was to get properly soused before the oven finished preheating and let's face it, she basically invented the five seconds rule.

Here are two more Smithies who are living the good life in Rome and turning out tantalizing culinary creations, The Vespa Diaries and One More Bite. Ladies, seeing your beautiful photos makes me so insane with jealousy I want to dip my body in Nutella and run screaming through the Coliseum.

Okay, at the end of a very long, very busy work day I must now go get some hair pulled out of my face so that at the wedding this weekend someone will say to me, "I couldn't help but notice that your speech was so charming and your face is so free of unwanted hairs. Would you like to retire to a corner and make out?" Thankfully at the end of this ordeal there is wine and cheese waiting at SuperSkater's new apartment. Viva alma mater!


Paula said...

Ok, I need advice only you can give. How would you suggest to a close friend (former college and post college roommate. Maid of honor at my wedding) who is hypersensitive (gets hostile if you suggest her mood is due to pms, won't go to the lingere department for a bra fitting) that she should get her lip waxed? She shaves it (not often enough) and every time I see her I want to wip out my tweezers and yank those suckers out by the root, but don't because I value my life. HELP!!!

Emma said...
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Cupcake said...

Oops, totally sorry I never came through. Here's a good way to suggest your MOH gets her 'stashe waxed.

Now, you're bordering on some Bridezilla-like behavior here, so if you want the Fraustasche to go, you're going to have to work for it. Why not schedule some spa time for the two of you, maybe as a relaxing treat before the wedding. You can tell her that in addition to a manicure, pedicure, whatever, you're going to be getting your eyebrows waxed. Ask if you should make an appointment for her. She what she suggests.

If she doesn't mention her lady whiskers, and it really bothers you, have the technician suggest it. If she goes bezerk when the aestician mentions it, then suck it up; the hair stays.