Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Shalloweeen

So, last night I was talking to my brother on the phone and he said, "So, did you see my new MySpace photo?" and I said, "No, I haven't signed on in a few days." I know, I threw up a little bit just typing that sentence. Then I said, "Besides, your page is all messed up and the only thing I can ever see is Stephen Colbert pointing at me." Then LittleBrother said I was messed up and then we had a brief discussion about which one of us was too stupid to use a computer. Anyway, I signed on this morning and this was the photo I saw. Now, I am really hoping that this was LittleBrother's Halloween costume. It seems like a good possibility, since there is a Halloween balloon floating behind him and a girl in front of him that appears to be dressed up like my sixth grade English teacher. But then there is the guy on the right side of the photo throwing me off.

So let's suppose this is LittleBrother's Halloween costume. What could he be dressed as, I wondered. Miscellaneous jackass? Then I looked very closely and noticed a band-aid under his right eye. Oh. He's dressed as old-skool Nelly. I think.

Tonight I am going to a Smith Young Alums Happy Hour after work in Midtown. My costume takes a bit of close observation to discern, so I will help you out. It's called, "When Did I become this Person?". Features:

  • Business Casual Clothes

  • Sneakers, suggesting comfort over style and also "I've given up on ever finding a man"

  • Black and lavender swirl top with black and lavender checked jacket; that is, I'm trying in the macro sense, but not in the micro sense

  • Jacket has a fake silk flower on the lapel (purchased in 2004)

  • Jacket is slightly too tight (but it fit in 2004)

  • Melty face, which results in working under fluorescent lights for 8+ hours, wherein your makeup begins to run and pool in odd pockets on your face leaving both red blotches and cracks in your powder

  • Some truly frightening zits I have been cultivating in honor of the holiday

  • The fact that I'm at a young alumnae networking happy hour on Halloween night

It wasn't always like this. When I woke up this morning and heard that the weather in New York today was going to reach an unseasonably warm 71 degrees I thought, "That's great for the trick-or-treaters! Then they won't have to wear jackets over their costumes. It sucks when your Mom makes you cover up your costume with a raincoat!" Maybe I'm not yet a truly lost cause. Maybe next year I'll go as Lil Kim.


Dizzie Diva said...

Maybe the guy-in-white-shirt is dressed up as Tyler Florence from the food-network. It could also be that he is a C-List TV personality. He has that typical host-of-HGTV profile I think. He does remind me of someone but I cannot remember whom.
I am sure this all is useful and helpful info...

Paula said...

At least you are young enough to qualify for the Young Alumni functions! It occured to me recently that I had gone from the Young Alumni category to the All Your Classmates Are Dying category. Truly depressing!

MCMCMCLY said...

Hey! Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh. You're gonna need a good wig.

My costume this year was 'lame businessman.' Looked alot like my usual work outfit. How did I forget to pack that wonder woman costume?

Cupcake said...

Your wonder woman costume was probably in the wash. You've got the Linda Carter blue eyes to pull it off.

You've have to have a pretty odd group of friends for them to appreciate a Tyler Florence halloween costume. Today I thought I saw Bobby Flay on the sidewalk, but it was just a non-Bobby Flay guy.

Joshua said...

Cupcake, Paula makes a good point. At least you are young and apparently a hot business comodity.

I'm going to a study group Sunday for a midterm, which makes me feel young and stupid. One of the students I'm studying with has a kid and was a reporter in Iraq, which for some reason makes me feel old.

Also, sweatpants say "I've given up on ever finding a man", sneakers with work clothes are OK.

Cupcake said...

Josh, please don't feel targeted by this, I would like to address the following to all of my friends, several near and dear ones, who are in the exact situation:

AHEM, I told you not to go to fucking grad school.

Study group? Midterms? I just threw up.

Say, that Lil Kim has some nice cupcakes though. Can we get a Photoshop of my head on her body?