Thursday, August 10, 2006

Only Temporary

Note the rainbow in the bottom lefthand corner. This is Jesus's way of saying "Thanks for stopping by on your vacation and not proceeding directly to one of the brewhouses to get shitfaced on cheap, light beer."

Here is the famous cathedral in Cologne. It is so big, forget about trying to photograph it, you can barely get your mind around it. It is the biggest Gothic cathedral in the world, but if they ever complete St. John the Divine in New York, that will be bigger although that cannot possibly be right. Another interesting thing about this cathedral is that is is right there when you come out of the train station, very unexpected. It actually produces a bit of a traffic jam as people stumble out of the train station, expecting a bus stop and a taxi rank and instead find themselves facing an architectural marvel and naturally pause to look up and stand there open-jawed.

Jesus Art.

And speaking of Christ on a cross, while I was gone, Die Bank decided to hire a temp to fill in for me. Here is an excerpt from the email I sent to Josh (Sorry Josh, I was wearing a wire):

Today I had to train the temp that is going to replace me for six days. My
boss insisted we hire a temp while I am gone on vacation, thereby confirming my
suspicion that the place will actually fall apart without me. It was kind
of like hiring a babysiter for older kids. Pretty much every thing I told
her I ended with, "now they all know this, and they can help you if you have any
questions. They're good kids, but you know, someone new, they may try to
get away with stuff." I could already see her counting the minutes until
she was out of my weird little realm. I also had to say to her, "Um, so, I
wasn't really planning on having a temp come in, so the draws of my desk are
full of personal stuff. That's pretty much all I can say about that.
So, if you're the kind of person who snoops, happy exploring! If
not, you should still feel free to help yourself to candy and cashews in the
bottom drawer."

It turns out that having a Temp was actually a genius decision because I failed to take into account her desire to please. I came back to a nice, tidy desk instead of the mountain of assorted crap that usually piles up when I am gone for two days, so that was nice. And though she did adjust the seat position of my chair, I am willing to overlook this because I did not have to listen to 28 hang-up voicemail messages upon my return. She did go a little mad with power and ordered a case of water. I did not tell her to do that. I know the consumptive habits of my coworkers. I left them with plenty of bottled water. But whatevs. Also, it looks like she didn't touch any of the prescription drugs or Wether's Originals. There is self-control and then there is puritanism. What a freak.


AJWP said...

Awesome. I remember seeing that cathedral when I was 13, and it blew my mind.

Dawn Z(ed) said...

I am so glad you are posting again, if you if do dissapear for awhile, I've now had my Cupcake fix.

Policate said...

There is such a fine line with temps. you want them to be good enough so that you don't come back to a mess, but not so good that they take your job. I actually had that happen once. Of course, I was on the verge of quitting because they were evil.