Monday, June 05, 2006

Never replace a battery again!


My father and my brother came bearing gifts. Anytime my father and brother have "gifts" for me, I get a little nervous because you never know what it is going to be. And although I believe it is very importatnt to be a gracious gift recipient, I know that my face betrays me. If you give me a book on dream interpretation, my mouth might be forming grateful odes of praise, but my face will most certainly be saying "What the hell? Did you confuse me with a fourteen year old girl? I am so not into this, oh, and it's heavy. Maybe I can use it to press flowers? Who am I kiddng? When is the last time someone sent me flowers."

So my father and brother brought out their little gifts for me. My brother gave me a little ceramic jewelry box that he painted for me last week while he was in Mexico with his girlfriend. Now I know this makes it sound like my brother was recently released from an asylum and is having arts and crafts withdrawl, or that he is "sensitive" but I assure you, this is not the case. He's just your typical white boy with a poppped collar and a chin strap who really digs the shark tank at the aquarium. And he likes to paint his own pottery. Let's move on. The jewelry box actually came out very nice because after my brother was done painting it, it was given to a local man (possibly even Mexican) to "touch up" and glaze.

My father's gift was presented to me in the original cardboard box in which it was shipped to his house. I had no idea what I was going to find inside. So, can you guess? That's right! An electromagnetic powered flashlight with lifetime halogen bulb. Never replace a battery or flashlight bulb again. To use, just shake it back and forth for three minutes. Beam of light lasts 3-5 minutes! To recharge, just shake for 15 seconds!

Basically, I am as speechless now as I was when this was presented to me. My father bought two of these for himself, two for my brother and two for me. I did manage to say, "So, how did you decided you wanted to buy us all matching flashlights?"

"Well," said Pop. "I was watching tv one night and I saw the commerical and I said, 'I think I'll buy the kids some flashlights!'" And there you have it.

I put up some tiny decorative shelves that I bought at Target six months ago. I put my earings in the jewelry box and put it on the shelf. It looked very sweet. Five minutes later the shelf came crashing down, the jewelry box shattered and my earring were everywhere. I'm so sorry, LittleBrother! I feel terrible.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So Not only did you shatter my jerwlery box in a fit of...what can only be assumed as Rage, but I am pretty sure I gave you a dream book a few years ago. The very same one you reference hating. Maybe I do donate to charity in your name from now on; but don;t you DARE do that for me

NancyPearlWannabe said...

My mother called me one day to tell me she got me a "shake flashlight" only I thought she was talking about Shake from Aqua Teen Hungerforce so I got all excited. Only to present me with the exact flashlight you've pictured here. Joy.

MCMCMCLY said...

Fight, fight, Fight!

Cupcake said...

LittleBro I'm really bummed about the jewelry box. As for the dream book ... damn, I forget you read this blog ... hey, since when do you read this blog? Oh god, I'm sorry.

Queenie said...

Lalala Im here too