Thursday, June 01, 2006

Don't Let the Escargot Drive the Bus

LaHipster sent me this animated video clip and I laughed and laughed, possibly because the stress from this work week has turned my brain to a lump of mashed potatoes.

Pop and LittleBrother (oops! almost mispelled that "little bother". Freudian slip! Just kidding, you're my number one home slice, Bro) are coming for a visit this Saturday. I am very excited and also very ... oh God, there's a lot of cleaning in my future. Here's a wrap up for those of you at home.

I have been living in New York for two and a half years. My father, who lives about three hours away, came to visit me once and didn't much like it. He vowed never to take a NY subway again because he swears they encountered a man with a machete on the train. My brother lives less than an hour away and also has not yet been to see my new apartment. Also, my brother has been holding several boxes of my stuff that we cleaned out of Pop's house hostage at his apartment in Stamford. I am excited to see my boxes, but sad because I know I have no room for them.

My father and I just had the following conversation (note that this strenous journey will be taking place in two legs, from RI to Stamford, then Stamford to Brooklyn):

"I'm going to leave here at 8:30am on Saturday to drive to your brother's place. I should be there around 11am, we'll only stay there a few minutes then drive to you. And I think we're going to go back on Saturday night."

"Okay" I said, thinking, I sure hope so, because there's no room at the inn here, pal.

"Yeah, I figure if I don't stay overnight that will decrease my chances of getting murdered in that city."

"Right-o. So, should I cook dinner or do you want to go out?"

"No, no, don't cook!" His rebuff was a little too enthusiastic for my taste. "There must be restaurants where you are?"

"Yes, there are some small restaurants by me or there are some really nice restaurants in walking distance in the next neighborhood..." my Father is not keen on walking. "Okay, we'll see when you get here how you feel."

"Yes, we'll see how hot it is, how many dead bodies I have to trip over on the sidewalk, you know. That kind of stuff."

My family, provinical but not in that aw-shucks-the-big-city way, more in the so-this-is-what-Sodom-and-Gomorrah-looked-like way.


MCMCMCLY said...

That video was the most contrived, annoying, stupid thing ever created. God, your taste has really fallen off. I must finally be rubbing off on you.

Lord of the Barnyard said...

the resulting question is: which is more entertaining/embraassing the aw-shucks or Sodom provinical?
my aw shucks parents saw me but once in my three years in mpls.

LaHip said...

I'll kill you, Dave.

Joshua said...

You should point out that NY is the 4th safest big city in the country and the top three aren't even really cities, so really, NY's number one.