Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Morning Report

This is what public radio does best: gets people to talk to each other and then lets us listen in. An 11-year old boy asks his Little League Coach, "Dad, tell me the truth, why did you cut me off the team?"

We interrupt this post with breaking security announcements.

Bad night shopping, last night. Very bad. Basically, at this point my life, my lovely lady lumps have made it impossible for me to buy a pair of pants. Sure, you can just keep going up one size to accomdate my hips and ass, but that produces weird gaping in the waist, back and, as the French say, "Le Crotch" area. It is time to join a gym. Medusa tells me that you can totally negotiate the monthly membership price with a gym. Has anyone had any success doing this? I'd like to join the new Crunch in my neighborhood. If I go in to meet with a sales rep, and I play hardball will they let me walk out the door?

Of course, I realize that just joining a gym is not going to magically produce a pair of jeans that will actually fit me. I will have to go work out at they gym and even then, off the rack jeans will not fit me, trust me on this. But of course, SmartyPants' wedding is looming and she just informed me that she has begun training for a marathon. In light of all of the training she will be putting in, it just seems impolitic on my part to chunk up her wedding photos.


Beta said...

I had a lot of luck with the Y in DC. I think the NY branches operate on a sliding scale as well. The thing is, you have to ask for the financial assistance paperwork. And basically, after a little bit of tax-like prep work, you can state how much you can pay and apply to see if they give it to you. The Y near work says the monthly fee is $71 dollars. For the last year, I was only paying $42. For this new year, I'm down to $21!!! I almost feel like I'm cheating the system. But if I look that poor on paper, so be it. Good luck.

Sheena said...

Yeah, a Y is probably your best bet. Though, many gyms offer deals depending on how long you sign up for. Globo Gym (aka NYSC), of which I am a member, has a few such deals.

Also, if you're on a budget, you could join one of many fine sports clubs in the city. It's a good way to work up a sweat, socialize, and get a new t-shirt.

claire said...

i'm confused about the definition of "lady lumps". i thought they were in the breastal region?

Cupcake said...

Yes,I once belonged to a YMCA but declined applying for financial aid (I was living at home at the time so I had money to burn!) The issue is that I want to join the Crunch because it is about 3 blocks from my house. There is no YMCA or NYSC near me, but there is an NYSC near my office, so we'll see. There is an Eastern Athletic SPorts CLub near my apartment (on Grand Army Plaza) and they have a pool, but I think they're more expensive and they have funky hours because they're attached to a synagogue- no working out Friday evening - Saturday. So I hear.

Claire, regarding "Lovely Lady Lumps", I quote, "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk up in your trunk?" I believe we are discussing the boo-tay here.

Sheena said...

I also thought they were in the breastal region... mostly because every time that song comes on, I start screaming and can't stop long enough for it to play out.

By sports clubs, I mean Zogsports or something... you can join a team to play kickball or volleyball or soccer. It's a one-off fee, and you can take our your aggression AND work out.