Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Fate of Tickle Me Elmo


When I was 17 years old, I had to have my tonsils taken out. My father bought me a Tickle Me Elmo. I was hoping for an espresso maker. But Tickle Me Elmo began to grow on me and soon we were inseparable. Elmo went to Berlin, Elmo went to college, Elmo spent my remaining high school years strapped into the back seat of my 1988 Chevy Cavalier.

Yesterday, I unceremoniously threw Elmo onto the junk pile. While my Dad and Sweetie were surveying the mountain of garbage, Sweetie's little dog found Elmo and pulled him off. Katie loves toys, especially toys that make noise. It was love at first bite for Katie and Elmo. So Elmo was saved from life in the landfill and Katie spent the rest of the day mauling Elmo, smashing his head against the wall, tearing open his back and getting at his voice box, and just generally being the happiest dog on the planet. Elmo's wide open mouth, which once seemed to be the source of his happy giggling has now seems to be fixed in a terrible scream. His big plastic eyes, once comically googly, now look like the side effect of an aneurysm. And yet through it all, he continues his refrain, "Ha ha ha ha, that tickles."

Godspeed, Elmo. This was not the end I had envisioned for you, but you're going down in the line of duty and that is truly noble.

2 comments:

timmy said...

i...can't....believe....it.....

call me sentimental, but i still have my tickle-me cookie monster which i happily have saved and intend on passing along to future generations of timmys...

this is a sad dad in lil' rhody...

Cupcake said...

I forgot that I bought you the companion Tickle Me Cookie Monster and that we used to strap both of them into the backseat of your Passat and cruise. Wow, 1998 sure was a lot of fun.