Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Maid of Honor Home Game

Please be advised that a website that calls itself "ClassyBride" is selling jeweled thongs as Bridesmaid Gifts. Because nothing says class like ass crack.

Sheena recommended a while ago that I look at J.Crew's formal line, but I was resistant becuase I didn't think anything would fit me. Then I saw of the J.Crew's bridesmaid dresses in Brides Magazine, so I decided to check it out. I think the biggest obstacle here is the color choice, most of the dresses I like only come in Ivory/Black and maybe a Navy, although several styles are still availiable in that perennial wedding favorite chartruese. I'm looking for something with a bit more color. Also, the J.Crew bridal collection fashions are just as expensive as designs from exclusively bridal boutiques, so no big savings there. (The one I liked in Brides Magazine cost $350 and there is an even higher end variation of that design coming out in March 2006 that will cost $1,200.)

"Real Wedding" photos featuring the Aria Bridesmaids collection. Again, more ginormous wedding parties, but here we see photos featuring fat maids, preggers maids and I spotted at least four tattoos. Why do brides insist on putting their very real-sized friends into ridiculous looking strapless dresses? These poor women look like overfilled saussages. I'll take straps, please.

By the way, for anyone who doesn't know, we received like 27 inches of snow today in New York City. I haven't left the apartment since last evening.


Beta said...

What the heck is Shantung? is it the kind of material? Also, 10 bridesmaids? that's insane. I loved the shot on the beach with the bridesmaids in blue.

daveb said...

I loved them so much, I bought one in every color. Nothing completes my early morning corpse disposal routine like a nice jeweled thong nestled snugly under my saran wrap pants. It's how I roll. It's who I am. I love it. I'm all about it.

Cupcake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cupcake said...

Shantung is a fabric that is made out of unicorn hair and absolutely nothing less will do for your big day which is why every goddamn bridesmaid dress is made out of this stuff. I think it's actually kinda knobby. Very romantic fabric.

In one photo I counted 13 bridesmaids. I couldn't come up with 13 women to stand up for me even if I included all my lady cousins and every roommate I ever had. In these photos I think what we are looking at is an entire Sorority House. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason you join a sorority, so that when your big day comes you have blackmail worthy dirt on enough women to fill up an altar.

(let the angry letters commence ... now)