Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Me and My Bird Flu go Everywhere together.

Hey, did anyone ever think maybe the reason I got this god awful, OTC-drug resistant Bird Flu is that it's January and it's freakin' 60 degrees in New York City??

Okay, I know that I shouldn't make fun of the Bird Flu because it is not funny but you didn't just see what I coughed up- that was nothing to laugh at either. Okay, let's call it the Puppy Flu. God, could you imagine if puppies gave you the flu. Anyway, I am feeling better. My Boss told me to eat yogurt to help with the nausea caused by the antibiotics and I am getting my energy back. My biggest problem now is that when I try to sleep at night I am racking by these horrible coughing fits. Hi. My name is Nancy. My hobbies are reading, knitting and coughing. Right now I'm an amateur cougher, but I'm thinking about going pro so I like to get 2-3 hours of practice in a day. You might think it's hard to find 3 hours in an already busy schedule to devote exclusively to coughing, but I solved that problem by just cutting into the time when normal people are sleeping.

So, yesterday I was wandering around in my Puppy Flu stupor. My voice was there, but quite weak. Now, I'm a person who uses my voice. I use my voice at work, I use my voice to let you know what I really think of you, and I'd like to think that if someone ever attacked me, I could use my voice to scream bloody murder. Yesterday, as an added bonus, I lost all hearing in my right ear. I kept talking to people and I knew they didn't know what I was saying, I couldn't get my volume right and I couldn't hear how I sounded. It was very frustrating. I also felt really vulnerable that someone could sneak up on me from my deaf side. It was not a pleseant way to life and I only did it for 12 hours, it made me realize that people with hearing disabilites must develop a whole different set of coping skills than I have ever considered.

Since I've been sick, my appetite has ranged from gone, ambivalent to nauseated. Now, it is no secret that Cupcake has a problem with food. Namely, I don't make "good healthy choices" which results in me having a "big, fat ass". This is becuase I am a person who loves food, and by food I don't mean green leafy vegetables. I love big, warm loaves of bread and all the starches I can get my hands on. I love greasy take-out and pizzas. I love cheese and ice cream. I love curries and rich sauces and anything fried. And I love cupcakes, muffins, scones, cookies, brownies- anyway you can think to package that refined sugar- I want one, at every meal of the day.

Except for this week. This week, I don't want anything. I mean, I know I have to eat, but I really don't care. I had lunch with G4 today. "What time do you want to go for lunch?" It doesn't matter to me. I'm not hungry now, I won't be hungry later. "What do you want to eat?". I don't care. I guess I should have some yogurt? Today for lunch I had yogurt with fruit and granola, and fruit salad and fruit juice. I chose these things. These are the things I spent money on. Believe me when I tell you, this is pretty revolutionary for me. It makes me wonder what I could accomplish and what my body would look like if I didn't spend my life constantly trying to appease these cravings and food lusts that literally order my day...


Joshua said...

mmmm, scones. man those foods sound good. but so does fruit ya know.

mondo said...

i know you are probably receiving all types of medical advice, but i thought id pass on a little tidbit of wisdom from my nutritionist- diary creates more phlegm (how the hell do you spell that.) and may be causing you to cough more. but your boss is right, the bacteria in the yogurt will help with the what does a cupcake do? see if you can hop by the local health food store or vitamin store and buy some acidopholous. it's a mouth full, but it will help the nausea and maybe decrease your chances of coughing up an organ. xox

jesse said...

I was up all night coughing as well. It's kind of a trip to go to brightly lit places after a night like that.