Yesterday my Boss asked me if we had any wrapping paper. He was leaving on a business trip in a few hours, and I guessed that he was bringing a gift to someone.
"Well, there's the Snoopy Hanukkah paper. Or I have some orange tissue paper in my desk," I said reaching for it.
"Snoopy Hanukkah paper?"
"Yes, I just assumed it was yours. The Snoopy Hanukkah paper has been here far longer than I have."
"Snoopy Hanukkah paper? Snoopy? Hanukkah?" The Boss looked like he was wracking his brain trying to remember what the hell I was talking about, so to show him I wasn't making this up, I walked to the corner of the copy room where this roll of blue wrapping paper had been living, for years probably, and brought it to him.
"Maybe it's not just Hanukkah paper...?" said the Boss as he took a closer look. I think he was hoping one scene would be Snoopy and a Menorah, one scene would be Snoopy and a Christmas tree, etc... But, as I said, this was just some full on Snoopy Hanukkah wrapping paper. I didn't have anything to say. I just looked at him. "Wait, this might work," said the Boss. "I have to look at this guy's last name."
I tried to stife any noise I was about to make. Internally I was thinking, 'I'm sending you to Houston, a trip for which you absolutely drove me nuts with the planning, by the way, and you're bringing a gift to a guy you don't even know well enough to know if he's one of yours or one of mine, but you're hoping you can get a clue from his last name to see if it would indeed be appropriate to wrap whatever in the Snoopy Hanukkah paper?'
After consulting something in his office the Boss called out, "Nope, won't work." I bit my tongue and returned Snoopy to the copy room. I don't dare throw him out; like I said, Snoopy has senority over me.
1 comment:
That's right, nobody fucks with the Snoopy wrapping paper. Snoopy saved Christmas and he helps Jews wrap Chanukah gifts.
He does it all.
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