Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Missions Accomplished.

Right now, I have to provide my Boss with a list of all of my accomplishments from 2005. Oh here, I'll just copy the memo:

"Please take some time to think first and then by December 18, 2005 put together a memorandum to me listing what you believe your accomplishments were for 2005 ...

Additionally, please list what your goals are for 2006 ... Include personal goals such as what if any increased roles or responsibilities you believe you may be qualified for but are not currently charged with, career goals for the next 12 months and next 36 months.

Include professional organizations in which you belong and which you desire to belong and why.
Please feel free to offer any suggestions which may foster increased job satisfaction and/or office morale.

These responses will be held confidential."

As you can see, this was due several days ago, but my Boss gave me an extension because I was too busy actually accomplishing things. Listing accomplishments is going to be difficult enough, (yes, I plan on including "Taught NewGuy and TheWiseGuy how to make espresso") but career goals for the next 36 months? I don't have a fucking clue. Are they supposed to be specific to this company or can I let on that I don't really plan to be here in three years? For suggestions to increase job satisfaction, can I mention the annoying and unprofessional behavoir of one of my colleagues that drives me absolutely batty day in and day out? In short, how candid am I supposed to be here??

Yesterday I needed to go to the Post Office to buy 400 stamps. The Boss gave me to corporate credit card to pay for the transaction. "Will I be able to use this?" I asked, since it is his name on the credit card.

When I returned with the card, he asked me, "Were you able to use the card with no problems?"

"Yes."

"So now you can hack and forge?" (I'm always able to guess his computer password when I need to get into his computer).

"Yep."

"That's quite a resume you're building."

"Thanks. Both hacking and forging will be on my list of accomplishments for the year."

1 comment:

Dawn Z(ed) said...

I would say that about 90% of the skills that make me a valuable team member in any job I have had wouldn't make good resume material, things like hacking and forging...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.