Monday, November 07, 2005

Ms. Cupcake, Tear Down This Wall!

I had a little heart to heart with G2. He told me that he wants to get transfered to New York permanently. I told him I would help him out, since we already established that I am the most powerful person in the office. This is rather ironic, since I'm beginning to get the feeling that I want to go to Germany for a little while, maybe a year or two. We made a pact to help each other. He thinks I should pursue a job as a credit analyst within the firm. "Come on, you told me you did not want to be a secretary here forever. You could do this. I know you are smart enough."

I'm concerned that I don't have any education in real estate or finance, but G2 thinks I have a big advantage just that I can speak German. "These guys are never going to learn German," he said, talking about my Boss and colleagues. "Not when they are having one hour a week. I know it. You know it. They know it. The teacher knows it. It is just a big waste of time." Germans can be so direct sometimes. Cute, eh?

"But I really want to be a writer," I said when I remembered, oh yeah, I don't actually want to be a credit analyst.

"The only writers who can support themselves have rich husbands. And that will not be Der Man. He saves every half a Euro." Hmm. Distressing news. Apparently my boy is a bit tight. We worked on our game plan as to how we could get G2 to New York and me to Germany.

"Okay," he said. "In two years you will be a Credit Analyst."

"Nah," I said.

"Yes, you can do it."

"Perhaps I will be pregnant," I responded in German, rubbing my belly.

"By who? Der Man? He doesn't even know how to do it!" See how mean they are to sweet little Der Man! I began beating G2 about the arms and chest shouting "Shut up, G2! You know, it only takes one person to know how to do it."

"I suppose you are right," said G2. Then he goes into his new thing, imitating Der Man's stare and humming the Wedding March. "You know," he said, "Der Man will not invite me to the Wedding. We are not very close."

"But now we are very close," I assured him. "I will invite you to the wedding." This opened a discussion on how he doesn't socialize with GOTM or Der Man. I think his main problem is with GOTM. I told him that GOTM is a great guy and he should make an effort to get to know him better. "We do not mix, that is all there is to it, from my point at least. You cannot mix with everyone." Goddamn it, I will unite these Germans if it is the last thing I do. Like a human sledge hammer battling against a brick wall of 30-something Teutonic egos and cliques!

I need a new hobby.


bbrug said...

Der Man is saving every half a euro because he is saving it all for you.

Anonymous said...

Bizzy here.... I am too lazy to figure out the blog and blog name I created. Here is what I found on credit analyst. Where is the time in the day when she writes in her blog?

The Rating Game: A Day in the Life

8:45 am
Arrive at the office. Scan the Wall Street Journal while waiting for computer to boot up. Breathe a sigh of relief that there are no major articles on any of my companies. Check voicemail. Good Brite Lite Leisure's treasurer finally got back to me on my question about their capital spending plans.

9:10 am
Computer is up. Dial into news wire service. Run search on my list of 34 companies. Fortunately I subscribe to an alert service which allows me to run just one search to see what's happening with my companies. Make a mental note to put in calls to the chief financial officers of two of my companies to follow up on recent news releases.

10:10 am
Dial into replay of earnings conference call for Acme Entertainment. I prefer to listen to the replays rather than the live calls, because then I can rewind in case I miss something. I will definitely need to put out a press release, as the company has just announced a major acquisition during the call. Wish again that management would give me advance warning about these things.

11:00 am
Attend rating committee for casino operator. The vote is a close one with four of the analysts on the credit committee voting for a low investment grade rating of 'BBB-' and three voting for a high speculative grade rating of 'BB+'. It is always interesting to attend these committees, because I get to learn more about a different industry segment. Also since most of the companies I follow are speculative grade or "high yield" companies, sending in on other committees helps me understand the different analytical challenges investment grade issuers pose. This is one way the company ensures consistency in the rating process across groups.

12:00 pm
Draft press release announcing credit downgrade on Acme Entertainment. Review with boss. Make minor changes based on her comments. Hold quick committee with other members of industry group to make sure they are in agreement with rating action. I prefer to get the release ready to go before I call the company so that I can send it out as soon as possible after we talk. Preferably before I begin to get calls from investors based on news of the acquisition.

2:00 pm
Press release is finally done. I've spoken to the CFO to deliver the news. Luckily, he anticipated the move and was not argumentative about it. Our group editor has just sent the release out over the newswires and I have a copy of the final version. Grab a quick lunch and finish reading the Journal before calls begin to come in about the rating downgrade.

3:30 pm
Check newswires again. Go through faxes. It's a slow news day. Update spreadsheets for three of my companies that announced quarterly earnings today. It looks like I may have to draft another release based on some of these numbers.

4:30 pm
Take a quick walk over to my friend Susan's cubicle to see how her day is going. Trade notes about what deals we're working on. Make plans to have lunch sometime later in the week.

5:00 pm
Finally a few minutes of quiet - until I remember I need to begin my industry article since I am behind on publishing goals for the year. I need to think of a good title for it; I want something that will grab the reader and focus my ideas.

5:15 pm
Call from investment banker regarding potential new issuer. Who says the market is cooling? This is my second new deal this month! Get him to give me a quick overview of the company. Then discuss timing-the company wants a fast turnaround since their roadshow starts in two weeks- and size of deal, explain rating process.

6:00 pm
Have a brief discussion with department manager about my ideas for potential articles. Also, update her on new deals that are coming in.

6:15 pm
Review my calendar for tomorrow. I need to be in a little early to go over materials for my 10:00 am management meeting.

6:30 pm
Get stuff ready to head to the gym. On second thought, maybe I'll take my friend up on her offer for dinner.

Deborah Adeyanju is a credit analyst in New York City

Cupcake said...

Yep. That sounds like me exactly. Except for the going to the gym part. And the working part.

Candicissima said...

Cupcake, the UN has nothing on you. You'll have those Germans singing "Kumbaya" in no time. ;)