Monday, August 22, 2005

Things I recommend:

Friday night Catherine and I went to see Chicago City Limits, a decent Improv group on West 53rd with a two drink minimum. Cat and I were enjoying the show and limiting our participation to drinking, since we are not really Improv-participators. We followed this behavioral model the next night at the karaoke party (ie don't sing, just drink), but I did go in for a lot of mingling and considering the amount of alcohol that was consumed by me this weekend, it might have been far less socially damaging for me to just get it over with and stand on a table and sing "Baby Got Back". I'm still unsure how much dammage was done at the party, waiting for any reports to trickle in; it's kind of like waiting on election night returns.

Anyway, Friday night at the Improv, there are Catherine and myself, having some laughs and sharing a long table with some young Asian kids, possibly Chess Champions. Seriously, this is not a stereotype on my part. Towards the end of the show one of the players comes out on stage and says she needs a story from the audience about something out of the ordinary, or something weird that happened to somebody recently. No one is jumping in. Finally, one of the girls at our table says that she just got back from a trip to China. So the woman starts asking her questions to find out details about her trip. The girl is being really vague and saying things like, "It's a long story". The set-up drags out, but never really gets off the ground. So, the woman starts again, "How about anyone else? Anyone else have anything strange happen to them? Anything at all?"

Oh for crying out loud. Anyone who reads this blog knows that this whole blog is basically about my odd little life and the cosmic jokes God likes to perpetrate on me at every turn. So, wanting to move things along, I stand up and say, "Yeah, something happened to me. I got stood up on a date last Saturday night by a Polish man-nanny."

"What? You good stood up by a man-nanny?"

"Yes. A man-nanny. A manny."

"A Polish manny?" So she started asking me all about the episode, his name, how I met him, where we were going, and it all came out: how I wasn't even sure if he was straight and how he told me his sister had come into town and that's why he couldn't see me.

"Oh Jesus," said Catherine. "I hadn't heard this story. I don't know you. If anyone asks, I'm with the Japanese Chess Team."

Meanwhile the woman on stage said, "Well Nancy, usually when we hear a story like that, we don't care. But tonight at Chicago City Limits we're going to turn your story into a Broadway Musical!"

And that is exactly what they did. The four-person cast performed a five or six song musical complete with conflict and dramatic resolution all about me and the manny. It ws the best thing ever! First of all, the girl playing Nancy was so great, she should probably take over playing Nancy in real life. And this version was so much more uplifting! It even had a happy ending!

The musical about Nancy and the manny pretty much concluded the show. Yet the amazingness did not stop. As Catherine and I figured out our bar tab, a woman from the audience came up to me and said, "Thank you for a wonderful evening of entertainment."

"What?" said her friend.

"You know," said the woman, nodding and winking in my direction.

"Oh," said her friend. "That guy was totally not worth it. You can do so much better!"

Audience members were actually feeling sorry for me. Catherine was so mortified, I think she began sinking under the table. Later, when she made a break to go to the toilet and I was alone in the hallway, a pretty young European tourist came up to me. "Oh sweetie!" she said and hugged me. "Look," she said to her boyfriend. "It is the little girl!"

Before we left I saw the actress who played Nancy. "That was great!" I said. "You played a brilliant Nancy." What I wanted to say was, "Are you guys avaliable for private events?" Here's what I would like to do. I would like to hire a small band of improvisational actors to live with me for my own amusement. Then, anytime something painful, or embarassing, or humiliating happened to me (average: twice a week) they could recreate the episode with original song and dance and we could all have a good laugh. Maybe until I can afford to keep an Improv troupe on retainer I could form an amateur group with some friends for just this very purpose.


Vanessa said...

Gah! That was an amazing night! I think that's the most fun I could ever imagine. With clothes on, of course.

lebrookski said...

oh, brilliant idea! that's totally what i want to invest in, should i ever find myself with a money surplus lying around.

maia said...

That is a fantastic story!

Cupcake said...

Maia, speaking of fantastic stories, did Emily G. just move to Togo? Did I read that correctly? Clearly I missed a few emails in between.