Monday, August 15, 2005

Proof that God Does Not Want Me To Be Skinny


For the record, I am not a moron. I know that I would do well to eat healthier. And, periodically, this seems like an idea I could really commit to. I will buy only whole grains. I will buy green vegetables and chop them up really small and sneak them into my food. I will cook big meals on Sunday and freeze them so I can eat homemade food all week long. I will cut out all those funky prepared foods and preservatives. I will try to cut back on the sugar for God's sakes.

And then, right when I am at an emotional nadir, after I had been stood up for a date, after my father has spent all Sunday morning calling to ask me, "have you been sleeping all day?" and then to remind me that I'll be turning 25 soon (depends on what your definition of soon is) and that my little brother is probably about two months away from announcing his engagement, as I am wandering the aisles of Target like a shell-shocked veteran, then, then a box of Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts falls off the shelf and lands at my feet.

What can I say? I am weak. And Jesus loves me just the way I am. Really. I think I saw his face in the hot fudge icing this morning.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mondomondo said...

wait, im confused...your blog can be spammed!? what is all of this!?

Cupcake said...

Yes, sadly spammers can get in to spam the comments of my blog to try to drive traffic to their bogus commercial sits. So I have to go in and delete these comments. It's a pain in the ass.

Beth said...

Can I shamefully admit that I look forward to reading cupcake tales every morning at work? And this coming from a fairly non-blogger. I only read maybe 3 or 4 (I would probably read more if I could rationalize to myself that it's productive and akin to reading a book. I recognize the addictive nature of them and try to cut myself off)

Cupcake said...

Do not feel ashamed. If Jesus wants me to make my "most important meal of the day" out of something marketed to pre-teens during Saturday morning cartoons and tell the world about it, you can feel damn sure He wants you to read about it.

Vanessa said...

Now I have to go to the store and purchase these Pop Tarts. They look so damned good.

A said...

it's true. that picture of the box and you saying 'hot fudge icing' probably did more for tart sales than all of last Saturday's morning commercials

Cupcake said...

Sadly, I keep falling for the old Pop Tarts trick. I know that they're not going to taste like a Hot Fudge Sundae. How could they make a Hot Fundge Sundae that is breakfast worthy and toastable? But there is a picture of a hot fudge sundae on the box!! And, well, they taste like something alright.