Thursday, June 09, 2005

Deep Thoughts at Lunch

Despite my big bleeding liberal heart, I am not one to generally advocate for more Government regulations. But people, please, can't we come together to establish a National Ginger Ale Standard? Sometimes you order Ginger Ale and it's really good, but sometimes you order Ginger Ale and it's really bad. Some might say we live in the freest nation on earth, but without a dependable uniform standard of high Ginger Ale quality, ask yourself, at what cost freedom?

Then my fortune cookie told me "Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today". I shit you not. If that's some kind of metaphor, perhaps someone would like to explain it to me.

I also don't understand the "Learn to Speak Chinese" lessons on the back of fortunes. How effective can this really be? First of all, it was my understanding there is no such thing as "Chinese" language. Could you specify a dialect please? Sometimes I think about writing a short story about a guy who learns chinese exclusively from fortune cookies. Emboldened, he goes to China to show off his skills. The experience is frustrating and bewildering. Then he gets stabbed in an alley and dies.

1 comment:

Leah said...

I think that story would be the BEST. I once got a fortune that said "A nice cake is waiting for you," which is still in my wallet but the best one I ever received was "don't believe everything you read in a fortune cookie."

Ginger Ale isn't the only thing that can be wonderful some days and horrible the next, the coke I bought today is absolutely HORRIBLE. I want to cry for the company.