He's Not Just Tech Support, He's Life Support

Okay, so setting up the Boss's Blackberry has been a humongous clusterfuck, but we had a major breakthrough today. After a conference call with IT in Germany this morning we got the thing officially installed. Then, somehow, I was able to get it to send and receive emails! I'm telling you, for one glorious hour this thing worked.

Of course, a couple hours later when the boss went to use it, kaputt. Basically, it could not get a network signal, although there was no problem two hours before. So I call T-Mobile. I will not bore anyone with the horrendous details of my Customer Service nightmare, but an hour and a half later I was still on the phone with my fourth customer service rep. At this point, it was increasingly clear that I had developed feelings of homicidal rage towards the Blackberry, and the entire T-Mobile corporation. But I was trying really hard not to take it out on the Tech Guy. Until he said, "So, up until this point, how have you been enjoying your Blackberry?"

"I hate it," I said. "This Blackberry is the worst thing that ever happened to me. I wish I could throw it out the window, but the windows here don't open."

And this is what Tech Guy said, "Wow, ma'am. I can really hear the desperation in your voice. But don't give up hope. There's always a better place to live, and you should live in a place where the windows open."

I was so confused, I couldn't say anything but, "No, I'm in my office."

And Tech Guy said, "Well you deserve to work in a place where the windows open. Hey! Do you know who has a nice big window that is always open? The Drive-Thru, at McDonald's. You get a nice breeze everyday. McDonald's is a great place to work."

I was so surprised, all I could do was laugh. Here I was, so uptight that some poor T-Mobile drone who was probably speaking to me from Bangladesh was trying to disarm me and make me laugh. I was also pretty stunned at the risk he took. How did he know he could talk to me like that and I would realize how stupid I was being and not freak out and demand to speak to his manager?

He might have been the best Customer Support guy ever. He continued to make me laugh, pleading with me to do more and more ridiculous things to the Blackberry and when I told him that now everyone in the office was completely annoyed with me, he insisted that anyone who was annoyed with me be sent directly to him, and he would take care of it. After two hours on the phone, the goddamn Blackberry still does not work and it has to be shipped back to whatever portal of Hell from whence it came, but as I was hanging up with Tech Guy he said, "Enjoy your day. And ma'am? Enjoy your life."

If only I had gotten his ID number or his direct extension, I think I would have asked him to be my life coach.