Thursday, May 19, 2005

Asstastic - The Intro

Presenting a new column here at the Cupcake Mafia, "Asstastic", a series of posts that will be devoted to being the best Assistant you can be, whether you are of the "Administrative", "Executive" or "Personal" variey. Those of you with less conventional positions, i.e. Magician's Assistant, Lab Assistant, Assistant to Mr. DeNiro, etc... should also be able to learn from these posts.

We begin today with "So, you want to be an Administrative Assistant".

So, you want to be an Administrative Assistant. What the hell is wrong with you? No one wants to be an Administrative Assistant. It's like being the Water Boy on the High School Basketball team; that wasn't exactly the position you were aiming for, but given the current circumstances it is the best you're going to be able to do, so why not suck it up and hope some misplaced glory finds its way to you. You may also find that being an assistant is the only job you are qualified for coming out of college. I already told Little Brother, save yourself a lot of time in your job search: use the word "assistant" as a keyword when you're searching for jobs. That's the thing about college, if you've managed to get through four years without binge-drinking yourself to death or throwing a burning mattress out the window while on a bad acid trip, the world recognizes that while you're not actually qualified to do anything, you are probably qualified to make coffee and photocopies for others who actually do things all day. Consider this "entry-level life".

I'd like to write more, but I have to go teach a co-worker how to indent. There's no "ass" in boss, but you can't spell assistant without "ass". Amazing.


Sherri said...

I can relate to this. I have a master's degree but work as an executive assistant. I really think that it is some sick joke and eventually Ashton Kutcher is going to walk in and tell me I've been punk'd and I really do have a job that includes an office with a door.

Oh well, until then.....yes, I'm getting your damn coffee!

ravingloon said...

You get an office? I get a desk in the vicinity of the filing cabinets and the door (so that I can answer it). Lucky girl.

Cupcake said...

No, no. No office for me, with such fancy ammenities as "doors" and stuff. I am the Receptionist/Office Manager/Admin/Translator. As my roommate said, "What do you, like, sit at one of those big desks with the name of the company right behind your head?" Um, yes. That is exactly what it is like.

cassafrass said...

all i can say is that here in austin, even administrative assistant jobs are hard to come by! i'm talking about 3 days of interviews for a job that pays $8 an hour without benefits. sweet. where do i sign my life away? and they told us that they were preparing us for the future. ha! i just wish they had also given me skills other than staying up all night on caffeine or adderall writing papers. ::sigh::