This is her personal assistant/ best friend/ lover speaking. We just happen to have the same name.

Today I called Joyce Bakeshop to order my birthday cake and just to show that I am susceptible to peer pressure, I went with the Lemonberry. The guy who took my order asked me what the inscription on the cake should read. "Happy Birthday Nancy," I said. I was calling from work and didn't have time or privacy to be pithy or cheeky. Then he took my information to process the order.

"And what is your name?" he said.

"Nancy," I said. "I'm Nancy."

"Oh," he said. "Are you ordering for yourself?"

"Uh, yup," I said. I thought about adding something self-deprecating but then decided I wasn't going to denigrate myself for cakeboy.

"Awww," he said. It was unclear whether it was an "aww, isn't that cute?" or an "aww, isn't that pathetic?" but I felt myself getting embarrassed and defensive. I wanted to ask, "What? Who is supposed to order my birthday cake for me? My mother? My boyfriend? My sister? My husband? I don't have any of those. My friends? My friends cannot afford this cake!"

This is good practice for the run up to Valentine's Day.