Monday, February 19, 2007

The battle in my soul of pride vs. one-stop shopping

Tonight I seriously thought about purchasing underwear at Duane Reade. Don't freak out, LaHipster, I didn't. Sure, it would have been easy to throw just one more item into the basket, but it seemed to me there was also no better way than purchasing a three pack of Hanes Her Way at my local drug store on a Monday night to broadcast to my neighborhood, "No, I'm not getting laid, nor do I have any plans to do do so in the immediate future;" besides, as I was already purchasing Epsom salt and generic tooth brushes, that announcement would have been a little redundant. I believe you can approach a check-out counter with a three pack of Hi-Cut Color Accented French Briefs plus all the lube, and massage oil and condoms you could possible carry in two arms and still you would not be fooling anyone. The high school kids behind the counter would just shake their heads and say, "Mm. Mm. Mm. Sad. Say, isn't that the lady who threw up at the pharmacy counter a few months ago?"

I did, however, purchase two pairs of socks.

3 comments:

LaHip said...

The rule is, never purchase underwear in the same place you can buy tabloids and denture cleaner.

NancyPearlWannabe said...

Hmm. We used to play a game where we'd come up with the most embarrassing assortment of things we could gather up to bring to the register. Underwear and epsom salt at Duane Reade is a good one.

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http://www.52cupcakes.blogspot.com/