... why I pulled not one, but two sticks of deodorant out of my desk drawer today? Also, travel-sized dental floss, some Q-tips, hair mousse, an Oral-B "Brush-Up", make-up removing towelettes, a lint brush, two tubes of hand cream, a nail clipper and an entire slew of over the counter pharmaceuticals were all removed from my desk today in preparation for my last day in the office on Friday. What exactly was I planning for? Did I think Prince William might be stopping by the 14th floor of our humble Midtown premises?
Tomorrow I tackle the snacks I've got hidden throughout the reception area. I'm anticipating finding a lot of stale cashew nuts and Werther's Originals. Der Mann balked yesterday when I told him I threw out the prize from a box of cereal he presented me with shortly after arriving in America. Trying to decide what to do with my giant rubber band ball, my pride and joy, is keeping me up at night.
Oh cupcakes, I want so badly to finish telling the story about the Tempelopolous and the Memp but I'm so busy these days. I'm taking a little vacation next week and we'll get all caught up.
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Hand out one rubber-band from your ball to each German at the bank. Do this all with a very serious face and with much ceremony –while trying to convince them this is an American tradition- and they have to place that rubber band in a special place as not to invoke bad luck on them selves…
If it makes you feel any better-and I suspect that it won't-I kept the shoe box from my sneakers in my desk drawer for nearly a year. Apparently I thought I might need it one day, but at work you see. Like to make a neat little shoe box fort.
If I had deodorant here at work I'd be sorely tempted to hand it to some stank-ass kid- I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have enough to go around.
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