Thursday, September 21, 2006

Why don't you take accountability for me replacing the cream in your coffee with White-Out?

A colleague was standing at my desk today and we were discussing a retail project that had come across his desk. The project had one of those names, which I won't repeat here for fear that some overeager paralegal with nothing better to do than hit "next blog" on blogspot will bitchslap me with a lawsuit, the project had one of those names that you could tell had been market-researched and focus-grouped within an inch of its life to convey a fun, family shopping environment.

"Doesn't this sound like a fun place to shop?" asked my co-worker insincerely.

"Yeah," I said. "What happened? Happy Sexy Fun Mall was already trademarked?"

"Actually," he said, "this is a really nice place. I think you'd like it."

"I don't know," I said skeptically. "We're talking about a shopping mall in Florida and you think I'd really like it?"

"Well, it's really geared to your demographic. There's a skate park and..."

I spluttered and nearly choked on my Poland Spring Sparkling Water. "What? What? A skate boarding park??"


"That is not my demographic!!"

"Sure it is. Those guys on Jackass are your age."

"What? Jackass? That is not my demographic!!"

"Come on. Take some accountability for your generation."

I was trying not to scream. My colleague was struggling to get a jumbo binder clip around a 300 page appraisal. "Why don't you take some accountability for that!" I yelled, pointing at his piss-poor job of document collation. As he turned and walked away from me I shook my fist, "I read books," I whimpered. "I read books..."


jesse said...

I kind of just skimmed this post. You love jackass? Um, that's cool.

Inness said...

In the illustrious words of one of our generation:

"Fuck that shit!"