Tuesday, June 13, 2006

New Rule

New Rule: effective immediately all FedEx Delivery Personnel are required to call me "Nan". The Memo went out today. This is a practice I probably could have curbed when the first FedEx Guy started calling me Nan, but now that my second FedExGuy II (also named Mike) has followed suit, I'm afraid that's here today.

Here's a conversation I had today after FedEx Guy II dropped off two medium-sized boxes at my desk:

Cupcake: Hmm. I wonder what that could be.
FEGII: Don't worry about it! It's FedEx! It's all good! I only bring you good things!

Please note: I will be out of the office tomorrow to get a cavity filled. Now normally having a cavity filled would not precipitate taking a personal day, but goddamn it, I'm going for the gas. Knock. Me. Out. It is the only way. If I can form distinguishable sounds by the end of the day, you can expect an AudioBlog post (because you all loved that so much). What is the official beverage of having light dental work done?

When your face does twitch, reach for Eclipse.


LaHip said...

If you're oozing or in pain that CuteNeighbor can't help quell, holler. I won't be home until 11, and I may be inebriated, but I'll care.

NancyPearlWannabe said...

My Dad used to drink a bottle of Autocrat a week. It's a tough addiction to kick.

Cupcake said...

If your dad drank a bottle of Autocrat straight, no milk well, I'd like to shake that man's hand.

Autocrat was the kind of thing you'd find in the back of the cupboard when you were moving houses. It could sit back there, unnoticed for years. Then, once unearthed, you could stir it into your milk and it would taste pretty much the same as it hand when you bought the bottle five years ago. God, I'm craving some right now.