Monday, May 15, 2006

So Long, Old Friendster

There comes a time in a young woman's life when she needs to step back, take stock of her Friendster account and make some serious cuts. Now, I frequently forget I have a Friendster profile (and judging by the fact that my last testimonial was eight months ago, everyone else has too), so that when I do remember and login it is not uncommon for me to look at my 79 "Friendsters" and ask myself, "Who the hell is that? No, seriously. Who is that person?"

Fortuantely, ending a friendstership is a hell of a lot easier than terminating a real life friendship, and this casual level of noncommittment is exactly why I believe I spent a large part of 2004 saying, "Mm. Friendster. Friendship-lite. Now this is something I can get behind." To unfriendster someone all you have to do is click on the tiny little "x" in the top right hand corner of their box and then click "confirm". Beautiful, especially when you consider that back in real life I have been clicking on the Princess of Darkness's little box for ten months now and she still calls me a couple of times a month.

79 Friendsters is not an overwhelmingly large amount in the Friendster universe but when you consider the proportion of people I see regularly to total Friendsters or even people I would actually consider spending time with in a social setting (ie not incarceration) to total Friendsters my ratio was not very good. Also, I hate people with obscene amounts of Friendsters. You have 181 friends? You are a phony, I say; get the fuck over yourself.

So this morning I made a few cuts. Anyone I ever drunkenly met at a party then went home and Friendstered while we were still hung over: gone. The girl whose sublet I took over two years and one apartment ago: gone, likewise the nice girl who was looking for a roommate in Clinton Hill two and a half years ago. It took me a while to remember who the hell you were, but once I remembered I felt no shame in sending our relationship to the recycling bin, as it were. Also, all the guys I went out on one or two dates with one year ago, guys I don't even remember liking too much at the time: your presence is no longer required here.

Things got a bit tricky when it came to my real life friends that I love and care about who just happen to have anemic to non-existent Friendster profiles. You survived this round people, but only because I didn't feel like explaining, 'it's not you, it's just that all those ambiguously gendered photo place holders are bringing me down.'

And now, because it's all about content, here are some more things to put in your brain:

Fresh Yarn

Believer Magainze

Toothpaste for Dinner

Married to the Sea

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