Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Schnee!

It is snowing in New York City right now. I don't think we're in for any accumulation, but it is coming down hard. Just the sight of the snow is causing my coworkers to contemplate jumping out the window and personally, I feel like ripping the phone off my desk and hurling it against a wall. Long day.

Thankfully, I have some new amusement in the office as German of the Month VI has arrived. This guy is rather an infamous fellow who is known for being a nice guy but driving everyone nuts with his exacting attention to detail. I know, an anal-retentive German, who would have figured? He asked me yesterday, "Can you please tell me where I can purchase some 3.5% milk?"

"No where, pal," I said. "This is America. Whole milk has 2% milk fat. Anything stronger than that, you have to go directly to the dairy as far as I know."

This saddened G6 who is used to only drinking 3.5% milk. He can not only distinguish between different fat gradations, but different tastes within similarliy skimmed milk. He is a milk conisseur, if you will. He also finds it strange that "In this country, they are giving always the neutron levels on the food so you can see how much fat you have."

"I think you mean 'nutrition'. That's a nutrition label."

Okay, I'm all wound-up. I think it's time to go make snow angels on Third Avenue.

6 comments:

Muk said...

Ahh, a fellow dairy nerd. I was at a restaurant recently where a lazy waitron tried to pull a fast on me by giving me whole milk when I requested half and half for my coffee. Both the viscosity and resulting hue when mixed in with the coffee were clear giveaways that it was not half and half. I informed the server politely, but she would not acquiesce.

DON'T FUCK WITH ME BITCH, I KNOW MY DAIRY!

I feel ya, G6. I feel ya.

muteflute said...

um. then what makes whole milk different from 2% milk? isn't whole milk 3.5% dairy fat?

Cupcake said...

First let me say that I don't actually drink milk, it's too much lactose for me and if I'm going to be gassy, it's going to be for a bowl of ice cream or a piece of cheesecake.

However, as an intrepid "journalist" I did a quick Google search and could not find a consensus on what milk fat percentage is in whole milk. In 30 seconds I saw 2%, 3.25%, 3-4% and 3-5% and God knows what I would have found if I put in another 30 seconds of research.

Lord of the Barnyard said...

milk from cows can be much higher than 3.5%. if i recall correctly, like 6% ish?
and it tastes much (better) different. much much.
and you have to shake the container to get the cream to mix back in with the milk before you imbibe.
and it's full of healthy microbes. which can sometimes kill you. whoops.
in some states you can buy it from the dairy. in other states you must promise to feed it only to your pets. or buy the cow from the farmer and lease it back to him so it's technically your cow and your milk, but the same farmer does the same stuff he would have before you bought the cow. that's the best way.

i am a proud milk snob.

Anonymous said...

I must say those Germans are funny - I remember reading a mayonnaise tube packet thing and it was emblazoned proudly with 40% FETT!!!!

As far as milk goes - I think whole milk tastes too much like...er...cow for my tastes. I am a happy skimmer drinker.

Cupcake said...

Today I had to explain Half and Half to the German. Half and half of what exactly?

"We put chemicals in it, so it doesn't need to be refridgerated." He looked at me sadly. "Don't worry," I said. "You'll be home in a month."