The Hardest Working Woman in International Banking Office Management...

... just changed a 60 watt light bulb and two type Q 120 watt halogen light bulbs from on top of a stepladder, and, since I was up there, cleaned the fixtures. It was a project that began yesterday. I could have called building management to do it, but they probably would have charged $300. I don't know if I have earned the respect of the entire office, but I'm pretty certain they're all afraid of me. "Oh my God," said one colleague yesterday, "You can't climb a ladder in those heels!"

I am the Office Manager. This is my house. I will maintain and defend it. "Look at this," I told GermanoftheMonth this morning, my arms widely encompassing all of the fax and copy room and all of the office supplies therein. "I make all of this happen. I am in charge of all of this. What are you in charge of? Nothing!"

"I would rather be in charge of nothing than be in charge of this dusty crap," said GOTM.

Is it possible someone slipped some 'roids into the coffee this morning? Probably not since I'm in charge of the coffee as well.

I asked my Dad today, "What do you think I do at work?"

"You count the Deutsch Marks," he said. "You sit at a card table and roll the coins."

"What do you tell people when they ask what I do?"

"I tell them you are a liason between the Germans and the Americans in your company that are too stupid too learn German."

"Well, I guess that's mostly true. And are people impressed by that?"

"Oh yes."

"Okay, well, be sure to tell them I also water the plants."