You Know You're a New Yorker When...

The other day I was leaving my office when I noticed a piece of flaming cardboard in the middle of Third Avenue, just in time for Rush Hour. I stared at it for a while. Then I kept walking. I wondered, absently, what would happen if a cab drove over a flaming piece of cardboard. Probably nothing, right? Then with a pang of remorse I thought about the bicyclers. The Delivery Boys on bicycles! Surely there'd be some kind of consequence if you rode a bike over a flaming piece of cardboard! I probably even had a bottle of water in my bag I could have used to put out the fire. I'm not proud, but there it is. The next day I gave a dirty look to a kid who was adamantly waving to me from the top of a double decker Tour Bus. What the hell is wrong with me?