Mostly Martha

If you even need to ask, "Martha who?" you are clearly not in the know. As a Martha enthusiast, willing to defend her and propound my theory about how she was framed by John Ashcroft for the raw feminine sexuality exhibited in her fruit tarts, I am surprisingly bored by her magazine. But in the last few issues of Martha Stewart Living, I have been dutifully scouring the Letter from the Editor to see if there is any mention of Martha in the can. And for my faithful scouring I have been rewarded with nada. Zip. Until this month. The first tip off that something strange is up is that the letter, which usually takes up a mere one pages, is a two page spread. It starts off rather benignly, with Editor Margaret Roach looking forward to the coming Spring, the start of the Northeast growing season and ... Martha's triumphant homecoming! At this point, I begin to drool. Roach goes on to marvel at Martha's creativity and resourcefulness and how well these characteristics have served her well in the Joint. Bring it on! The letter is worth reading in its entirety, but I simply must quote these choice tidbits.

"Martha continues to be the most resourceful person I know. 'See what one can do with nothing?' she wrote not long ago in an upbeat letter full of anecdotes about her many adventures in creative reuse at Alderson ... The tales were always surprising: foraging for wild greens, such as dandelion, on the prison property to augment the limited fresh vegetable offerings in the diet there; ... cooking up impromptu recipes in the microwave with whatever basic ingredients the commissary had for sale."

"The same skills and interests that fill her time and make her life special at home -cooking, crafts, and gardening as well as reading, exercising, and trying to learn something new everyday- have been the fabric of daily life at Alderson ... She initiated and taught a nightly yoga class for about ten women. She also began crocheting holiday gifts for her dogs (toy opossums, inspired by illustrations in the encyclopedia in the Alderson library), but lamented 'My crochet is still very basic,' envying the skills displayed by some of the other residents [ie inmates]."

Who the hell is she in the Can with? Bestsy Ross? Is it even necessary to comment that Martha's incarcerated life is more pleasant than that of most people I know in Brooklyn?